A Very Short and Somewhat Silly Guide to Mindfulness
- Ian Noe
- Jun 18
- 2 min read
1. Breathe Like You Mean It
Sit. Stand. Lie on the floor if you must. Just breathe.
Feel the air come in. Feel it go out. That’s it.
Your brain will scream, “This is dumb.” Let it scream. Then come back to your breath.
The science behind breath-work is very real: Breath-work taps into the autonomic nervous system to help regulate stress, emotion, and physical responses. By consciously controlling the breath—slowing it down, deepening it, or using rhythmic patterns—you can shift your body out of a fight-or-flight state (sympathetic nervous system) and into rest-and-digest mode (parasympathetic nervous system). This has measurable effects on heart rate, blood pressure, and cortisol levels. Breath-work also enhances oxygen-carbon dioxide balance, which influences brain function, emotional regulation, and energy levels. In short: how you breathe directly affects how you feel and function, both mentally and physically.
I recommend doing this at least once a day. You will notice the difference immediately in terms of overall stress levels. Try this one, it's amazing:
2. The Body Tour (No Passport Required)
Lie down like you’re auditioning for a chalk outline.
Move your attention—yes, your attention, the most overworked part of you—through your body.
Head, neck, shoulders, chest, knees, toes. You know the song.
Just notice things. Don’t fix anything. You’re not a mechanic.
I know to many of you this is woo woo, but, it works. Guided meditation groups are available for free by zoom and phone conference all over the world. Try it!
3. Walk Like a Very Aware Weirdo
Go for a slow walk. No destination. No phone.
Feel your feet. Notice the wind. Smell the smells, even the bad ones.
You are now a sentient meat robot with upgraded perception.
Try not to get hit by a car.
4. Eat Like You’ve Never Seen Food Before
Put something edible in front of you. Preferably not plastic.
Eat slowly. Chew like you’re studying for a test on flavor.
Taste it. Smell it. Don’t tweet it.
Congratulations, you’re now eating instead of inhaling. I recommend not eating anything that comes in a box.
5. Watch Your Thoughts Like a TV with No Remote
Sit still and observe your thoughts as if they aren’t yours.
When a thought shows up (and it will), give it a little label. “Worry.” “Regret.” “Pizza.”
Let it float on by. No judgment. You’re not a judge. You're a noticer.
6. Try to Love Something (Even Yourself)
Repeat this silently: “May I be happy. May I be safe.”
Now picture someone you love. Say it to them. Then a stranger. Then someone who irritates you. Yes, them.
Weirdly enough, it helps. Love is the original mindfulness.
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